I’m afraid of progression

I’m afraid of progression. I’m afraid that every step forward I take, is every step further I am from him. I’m afraid of leaving him behind, because he’s important to me. I’m afraid that if I think about the future I’ll forget about him, and I never ever want to forget about him. He was the reason I am who I am today, he’s the reason for all the progress that I have made. He’s the reason that I’m standing today. And it feels like betrayal, that I’m betraying him if I were to move forward. That he was there for me every step of the way, yet I am about to choose to abandon him. That my personal gains is more important than us being together.

I’m afraid of progression. I really am.